does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
