Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
