Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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