i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
