a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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