Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
