We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
