Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
