He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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