it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
