Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I AM VODKA MAN
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Randomize
