You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
send nudes
from the living room?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
