are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
