oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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