Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
