If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
