why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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