What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
