just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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