Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
