Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
