Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
