So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
