dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
