My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he just fucked me for my cheese.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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