Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
