Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
