At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
