He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
bring money and cleavage
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
