i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
