Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
