so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He better not be in your backpack
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
