it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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