11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
