I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
