I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
