my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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