Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
