Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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