Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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