Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
