Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
