mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
