IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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