OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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