Soap is not a condiment
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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