I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i would punch a child for taco bell
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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