There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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