its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
