thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
are you so shy because you have an std?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
